SCS Designs Co. – Handcrafted Art & Creative Journey

"Learning to Trust the Creative Process: A Self-Taught Artist's Perspective"

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  • The Ugly Stage of Creating Something New

    The Ugly Stage of Creating Something New

    I bet you’ve been in my shoes at some point in your life — seeing in your mind what you have planned for a project, but everyone around you can’t picture it or get stuck on what it looks like right now. You know, the ugly stage of a project… the part of the process where even you are asking yourself, is this really going to work out the way I had planned? What if I forgot something? But, stay the course — good things will come if you can ride out this part of the project and get to the other side.

    Since my January update, I’ve been between things for family, medical, and work. Several of the projects I rattled off in my year-list seem more like a ‘some day’ type of dream, but not the garden. I’ve been picturing it in my mind, daydreaming over logistics of how to tackle the whole thing, using small breaks to research and just absorb what others have done to create a cottage garden.

    I started with collecting cardboard — my family is super patient with me, knowing I had a reason for hoarding all the boxes that came in from shipments, groceries, and even some given to me by friends and work. I was just waiting for the right time to start the process, which finally came toward the end of February.

    Since then, we’ve been hanging out in the very ugly stage of what I have planned. I honestly worried my neighbors would tell the city I’d started adding trash to my front yard. But, I kept plugging away and it’s finally starting to take shape that others can see the essence of what I’m working toward.

    It’s taken a month to get it to this point. I have to take things slow so that I don’t wear myself out. But even with working slowly, the progress is happening.

    I know I’ve written about it before — the inner tension that seems to poke at me. Hurry up! Don’t wait too long. Why not just get it all done in one day? My mind runs this kind of dialogue because I’m still caught up in the expectations of a world that thinks ‘time is money’ or that hustle is a badge of honor even when it’s twisting you from the inside out.

    I’ve found myself in these moments plopping down where I am. Yep – right in the middle of the cardboard, mulch, or whatever else I’m doing right then. And while I sit and take deep breaths, I lean into my connect with God:

    Jesus, take these lies away. Help quiet my heart and protect my mind. Remind me that I am not here to perform, but to embrace this gift of creating with my hands, nurturing seeds into blooms, and releasing my worries and fears to you while I do. I am not held back by my current limitations – You give me strength to complete what I can a bit at a time. There is no deadline.

    These quiet garden moments are my way of taking back a piece of myself against chronic pain. Even if I have to go slow, I make a little more progress each time. It might be one bag of mulch, or it might be twenty on a good day. It may be just watching the sun stretch over the space and planning the placement for plants where they will thrive the most. Asking for help and spending time with someone else, giving them insight into my vision. It’s seeing the space evolve over time.

    The biggest part, though, is knowing that there is never a deadline because there’s never an end. Each season will flow into the next, the plants will grow and wither, and new growth will rise from the aged stalks to bring forth new life.

    So why rush?

    Why the hurry?

    Why get in a tizzy to have something finished all in one weekend, but then feel it for the next three weeks?

    It’s not necessary for me or you to break ourselves just to feel like we’ve proven our worth or that our contribution is just as good as everyone else’s. We are not less, even in these seasons of healing.

    It’s time to focus on Jesus’ quiet whisper to find rest and peace, rather than accept the world’s loud trumpeting for instant gratification.

    It’s time to stay the course and embrace the small nuances of letting our senses be open: the pungent weight and texture of soil in your hands, the breeze dancing and twirling wood chips into the air, the crisp scent of cut grass, the sun kissing your skin, and the sweat from working that makes you proud of what you’ve done.

    It’s waking up each day and going to bed with the same image in your mind of a quiet space to retreat and feel whole.

    It’s time, friend… time to let go of these stressors you’ve clung to and give them to Jesus. Release it and find rest in Him – He will carry you through this season and the others to come.

    Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

    It’s in the middle of the ugly stages of life, and even this garden project, that I find myself growing closer with God. He doesn’t turn away from the mess, but longs to take it from us and make it into something new and beautiful for our good.

    And knowing that we have a God that can take any mess I make in life and turn it into something good? That brings me peace and joy. That makes me want to lean into His grace and be renewed.

  • Winter Homebodies

    Winter Homebodies

    There’s something about snow in Texas that regularly draws out the panic shoppers, lookie-loos for snow, and the inner NASCAR driver… but here, I’m approaching it with a little more wonder this year.

    The beginnings of a garden plan sitting quiet – soon, I’ll get my hands back into the dirt and build in real life the visions I have in my head. 💙

    In the Spencer household, my snow days started a little earlier than the actual weather. The pressure from the moving weather systems, plus my remaining allergy/sinus mix, led to a cluster headache that welcomed me to Thursday morning. This was the kind that pressing firmly on the top of your head gives relief, as well as doing projects with the one eye closed on the side where the headache is strongest. While I can generally muddle through, I get anxious about nausea and possibly throwing up at work – so home I went to snag a multi-hour nap. Thankfully, it did just the trick (paired with my muscle relaxers and pain meds).

    The thing is, it drains me in every way – especially my mental health and social battery. The rest of Thursday and most of Friday was spent being reclusive, using the time to ping through different content I’m interested in right now and reflect. I spent time working through prayer, based on our Wednesday night study at church, where our pastor is doing a How to Pray sermon series and Bible study each week. Walking through the Lord’s Prayer, but molding it to your own situation/needs/temptations, is eye-opening and honestly… vulnerable. You open your heart in a whole different way to God when moving through the process of building out your prayer, asking for needs, giving thanks, and also talking about forgiveness for both yourself and how you give forgiveness to others.

    It’s while praying that my brain started picking up on little ideas of things to explore. Part of my prayers lately have included guidance and discernment around my health and also the projects that keep my heart and mind racing. Some of these projects are for work; others for passive income (gotta find ways to cover medical bills without stressing our budget), and then some I feel tie into my calling or general path currently. YouTube and computer research, plus sketch ideas of our property, and daydreaming about different creations closed out the time in a much more relaxed state, with the headaches remaining mild.

    The outdoor areas are dusted with snow, but my exploration has gone into winter sowing for seeds. Several videos have popped up lately for seed-starting, and my social media feeds pulled some Ziplock gallon bag ideas to try out a few types of seeds with. I also have new cuttings I’ve started propagating in water on our grow light shelf unit.

    Lavender is one flower I’d like to grow this year in bigger clusters either in the front or backyard area. Purple is a favorite color in our family, but it’s also relaxing, a great pollinator, and I’m planning some projects that will incorporate dried lavender.

    While I’m tip-toeing into seed starters and more ‘Frankenstein’ plants, I’ve jumped into the deep end with hydroponic growing, using our Gardyn system.

    This is the larger Gardyn system with 30 spaces for plants. Lots of other components including the app, cameras, timed lights, and large watering chamber making this the easiest system I’ve used for growing plants, especially ones that never survive here in Texas.

    These is just a peek at what the Gardyn system has produced as of today. I’ve already been picking and using the salads I’m familiar with, and other items still need time to grow.

    Our purple kohlrabi is coming along! So cool to see the whole process of its formation – as a kid, we wouldn’t be able to see this much since they were half buried in the ground. I’ve also only had the green/white variety, not purple. Can’t wait! 🤩
    Bloom big, Sunflower friend 🌻 I’m looking forward to seeing you soon 🫶
    Gardyn also has full-size strawberry plants 💕

    From the Gardyn salad kit I started with, I’ve been enjoying the greenery as it grows and bit by bit using ingredients. But, some plants hadn’t been touched and have gone a little wild – so we made curry.

    Quick and easy, plus used several pantry items up
    7 greens used: 2 types of Tatsoi, 2 kinds of kale, spinach, and 2 types of basil

    Living in England for 6 years, curry was something discovered as a kid – but I realized later it’s a different type of curry that they make compared to authentic Indian food. Still, the pungent scent of curry powder is a vivid reminder of childhood scenes from different villages in the Lakenheath/Mildenhall area, and several explorations with different flavor types being discovered.

    Initial dusting of snow from the first night. This loony girl couldn’t get enough of her first snow ❄️

    The rest of our time with snow has been entertaining, with Duck (our corgi) experiencing snow for the first time. Mixed into it, we’ve taken time to enjoy movies, experiment in baking/cooking, and playing computer games. My husband, notorious in our family for getting cabin fever the most, took mini breaks outside, gauging the roads in our local area and spending a little time outside the house. Our daughter did the same via short walks, with Duck as her companion in the snow. She even met one of the neighborhood kids and Duck joined the child for a little bit of sledding.

    I’m reminded, through all of this, that slowing down can reveal some truly beautiful moments. The breathtaking view of everything blanketed in white, the childlike wonder of our puppy seeing snow for the first time, and connecting with our neighbors and friends.

    Luckily, this year was not as fear fraught as our snowstorm in 2021. Power overall seemed to hold, while water was hit and miss (and really dependent on us forgetting our front faucet cover for the kitchen line). But the city offered warming stations, while others stayed in touch via text and social media to bolster spirits and answer the needs of friends if anything came up.

    Someone is moping because she had to come in for a bit – silly Duck 🥰

    I had time for a small burst of creativity, too.

    A work in progress, simply named Fruit Drawing. I posted Part 1 and Part 2 of the timelapse sessions on Instagram. But it still has a little ways to go.

    I worked with watercolors again. A cheap and simple watercolor tray with a water based pen-brush got me started with swirling colors and making blends. While playing with the pigments the first time, I had the happy accidental discovery of what looked like birds in the blobbed shapes I made. So I made birds!

    Love this phrase, and seemed apt to have it with my kissing birds. 🥰
    Hopefully these birds look like they’re dancing and not just twitchy 🤣 I am not very good at placing the movement lines, but I think this sufficed for this piece ☺️

    Some of the shapes ended up too close together, or a flick of the brush made a circle look like it had a hook. But that’s what makes the drawings fun and spontaneous – you work with whatever happens. I think in the end, these turned out just right and I still have one more to play with during my next time off. 🤩

    So with our church service cancelled on Sunday and school cancelled as well, the family had three days off together.

    It’s interesting — and probably all part of His actual plan — but I’ve been talking with God about slowing down and resetting again after some busier weeks and mixed news regarding nerve pain and other stuff. This snow fits to that request, and gave a chance to rest, realign with Him, and analyze the things I need to be doing to get back on track. It was also an opportunity to reinforce my spiritual foundation before my next round of appointments and work commitments. In the end, I’m thankful. God’s timing in all things is perfect, even if we don’t understand it all the time.

    Not everyone is happy with having snow — I know it comes with real stressors for many — but it feels like just what we needed.

    As for my work and home stuff, am I really that far off with things that I need to “get back on track”?

    Honestly, no. It’s just the inner dialogue I have with myself that makes me feel I am. But then, that’s part of taking intentional quiet time to talk with God: He reminds me that I’m not expected to push myself till I break. My worth is not diminished by asking to go home early one day, and He is always with me in the unknown or confusing of these physical/mental health concerns. God guides and protects us in every part of our lives, even if sometimes it has to be from ourselves.

    The same is true for you, my friend.

    You are worthy of taking time for self-care. Slowing down is not weakness – it’s healing. And the little bumps along the way? They are not a reflection of you as a whole – they’re just part of the landmarks for your beautiful journey in life. Don’t let your inner voice wrestle away any peace you find in quieting your heart and mind during a season of pause. Breathe deep, knowing you are loved as you are because of whom you belong to.

    I can always come to Him when I need to feel grounded, rebalanced, and whole. Prayer, while it sounds so simple, does this for me, and I’m thankful for the reminder of this truth, plus the other moments of pause and gratitude for what we have, that came with our week of snow. 💙

  • “Begin.”

    “Begin.”

    “Begin.” A word with a lot of meanings when you use it to describe what you hope to do in the upcoming year.

    I’m not writing this as a big announcement or a promise that I’ll do everything perfectly. It’s more like a marker in the ground: I’m beginning again — slowly, honestly, and with God at the center.

    For me, “begin” means starting from the basics and evaluating each area of my life — relearning things I’ve forgotten over time, and finding ways to be more efficient where I can. It also means a kind of evolution: changing behaviors and habits, starting projects, and not making excuses to myself about why I haven’t done what’s been pressed on my heart for months.

    No matter how I do it, I need to begin.

    Art and Creativity

    While I’ve been creating artwork since 2016, I haven’t been super proactive about posting my creations since 2020 (yep — Covid zapped my initiative there). It’s been long enough to wallow in fear, uncertainty, and general lack of confidence.

    This means my Etsy store will be getting an update, and then as I create items, they’ll be posted. No bells and whistles, and no trying to chase trends I’m not familiar with — just authentic creations inspired by whatever strikes my fancy in the moment. And honestly, that might mean I hang out for a while on the same kinds of pieces… and that’s perfectly fine.

    This also means a reset of authentic pricing — not selling myself short out of fear of rejection, or fear that someone won’t like what I make. There’s a little something for everyone… and at the same time, not everything will be everyone’s cup of tea. At the end of the day, it’s the act of creating — and what God does in me through the process — that will mean the most. The artwork is the end result, but it’s not the entire journey.

    One of my dreams/goals is to make art accessible, even for people who don’t feel like they “can” make art. That means demonstrating different mediums, styles, and ways of creating. Some of it is intuitive, but a lot of it comes from unlocking pieces of ourselves that we all have: curiosity, resourcefulness, and the ability to notice inspiration everywhere.

    I want to help people tap into that, and then use whatever means works for them to create something from it — drawing, painting, crafting with glue and paper, photography, or anything else that captures what held their attention and fed that inner spark.

    I’d love to work with all ages, but especially teens and adults who are looking for a new hobby, projects that help them feel grounded when struggling with mental health needs, or even a way to connect socially.

    What will this look like? I’m really not sure yet. But a few ideas are to bring back some live streams with more of a game plan — set “lessons” or projects we work through together. I’ll also share process videos in the places I already show up (FB/IG/TikTok/YouTube).

    One day, I’d love to set up mini workshops in-person, but that’s probably way down the line. In 2026, though, I hope to do a couple family/friend “test runs” to get feedback on what works and what doesn’t. If you’re in the Abilene area and interested in participating, give me a shout or drop a comment to let me know.

    Writing and Publishing

    2025 came with some experimenting in a different creative pursuit: Amazon KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) and Pocket FM. I also started my blog here (of course!), wrote articles on Medium, and posted regular content for engagement with the communities I’ve built on Facebook and Instagram.

    Toward the end of the year, I started working on a long-term story that initially had one chapter posted each day. I’m honestly not sure I’ll be able to maintain that kind of schedule with everything else I’m interested in doing — but regular updates will continue so readers can keep up with the citizens of Brushwood Hollow and find out what’s happening with the Ashford family and friends in He’s Always Watching.

    In the fall, I had a sudden burst of inspiration for another story — though this one is a little more therapeutic for me. Called Fractured Walls, it begins with a woman standing outside a derelict manor with little to no memory of herself or why she’s there — just an urgent sense that she needs to find something, vague flickers of past events teasing her thoughts, and a note in her pocket.

    It’s a psychological mystery/thriller that nearly wrote itself in one go while I was drawing one night. I get the feeling it won’t stop dancing in my head until I have the whole thing written out… but it’s being done in short bursts as the storyline evolves.

    I’ve also started writing and publishing devotionals — and this is by far the area I’ve been most excited about. The topics I’m working with right now focus on doubt and anxiety, leadership, overcoming negative self-talk, and developing compassion for ourselves.

    Most of these follow a simple template: scripture, reflection, prayer, and a writing prompt. But I’ve also started one that includes a love letter from God that reveals a truth we often forget, and then moves into reflection and other pieces to highlight the heart of that truth. I’ve been able to include my own drawings too, which has been a really meaningful way to merge several creative passions into one creation.

    At the end of the day, these devotionals mean a lot to me because I’m hoping they resonate with the people who read them. If it helps someone see God’s love a little clearer, then I’m happy.

    Nature, Sustainability, and Creating a Personal Retreat

    2025 has been the year of doctor appointments and trying to figure out some health things that have been lingering for several years. Along the way, I’ve realized sustainability and self-sufficiency (especially with our ingredients and where we get them from) is something I really want to work on.

    I’m also drawn to plants, flowers, and the essential act of caring for living things and watching how they mature over time.

    After kicking ideas around throughout the year — plus a couple failed starts — I’ve resolved that even if it’s just 15–20 minutes a day, I can still make progress. I may not have tons of energy, but I can get outside and work a small section of the yard each day, or care for the plants I’ve started fitting into random areas all over the house.

    I’ve also done a lot of research and experimenting with propagation and “Frankenstein” produce (the kind you can regrow from what you buy at the store: pineapple, green onions, lettuce, and anything that houses a seed). I even tossed around a few garden nursery names if I ever pursued something like that — Franken-Eats and Zombie Growing were a couple of the quirky daydreams — but I don’t have a solid plan to pursue that right now.

    Rather than a nursery, the bigger idea is to build up the front and back yards into places I can retreat when I need time with nature… and a space where I can honor my Opa’s memory. The garden he had when I was growing up was a place of adventure for a kid. I loved walking the paths and exploring all the plant life tucked into different zones, nooks, and crannies. The air felt fresher in Opa’s garden, and it always brought a deep sense of peace.

    While I hope to capture a piece of that, I also hope it can serve other purposes too: food that can be shared beyond our family needs, a way to connect with neighbors and community, a place to sit and rest, a cutting garden to share flowers from, a hobby of propagating and sharing young plants and seeds, a place to create plein air paintings, a spot to invite friends and family to… and more.

    Faith Journey and Calling

    All of these ideas keep resonating with me, and I keep feeling that nudge — like when God is trying to tell you something.

    It’s not something I can fully explain, but there’s something here He’s wanting me to work on. It might be that these projects are just a season — one where I learn and grow, and then have something to look back on as proof that I can tackle future challenges. But I think it’s more than that.

    In all the work I’ve done, it’s been service-driven. And all these things I’ve been doing — art, hobby gardening, writing, and everything else over the years — are starting to come into focus as a way of connecting with people in different ways for different needs they have.

    Anyone who hears all of this, and also knows me and the other things I balance (a full-time job, family, volunteer commitments, the health needs I mentioned, and my tendency to run hard with an idea and then taper off…) might think, “Oh, that’s nice…”

    But I can’t stop thinking about these things. They don’t just go away. If it was a passing thought, it would’ve already come and gone — but these have continued to evolve and morph into a more condensed version of the original ideas for years.

    And that’s what keeps me from letting them go.

    It’s also because I think they’ll help me accomplish my last goal: to be closer to God. I believe these “random” projects, if done with Him at the forefront, can come to fruition. And in leaning into what I sense He’s telling me, these ideas can have an impact that goes way beyond me — and that’s what I really want from it all.

    Something that reflects the calling God has for me.

    So… I’ll begin.

    I’ll keep working incrementally, and I’ll lean on quiet time with God for guidance and clarity on how this is supposed to come together. I’m going to work with Him on my anxiety and doubt, but still step forward — so that 2026 is the beginning of whatever beautiful plans He has.

  • Finding Gratitude in the Messy Middle

    Finding Gratitude in the Messy Middle

    Some days, little things just make me want to gripe. But at the end of the day, I know I don’t have it nearly as bad as so many people around the world—those battling malnourishment, persecution, hate crimes, family violence, addiction, loss, and so much more.

    Please hear my heart: I know the things that trouble me are nothing compared to the grand scheme of what our world endures in the face of darkness and evil.

    But we’re human. And while it’s important to keep that global context in mind, it’s also important not to reduce our own struggles so much that we start to feel unworthy, unimportant, or like what we’re dealing with is “all in our head.” We’re not wasting anyone’s time by advocating for a little less pain or a little more peace.

    So again, I find myself asking: when it comes to always giving thanks—what about those times when things aren’t going well?

    There’s no perfect answer. Each of us has to find our own way through that question, using our own experiences as a guide.

    For me, two big truths come to mind:

    1. I am not alone.
    2. I’ve overcome things before.

    You and I aren’t alone—we have the support of an amazing God who wants to walk with us in both the good and the hard times. He listens, really listens, celebrating the positives and grieving with us in the struggles. That’s why I try to keep up my daily prayer time. I don’t want Jesus to think I only come to Him with problems—I want Him in everything I do. Staying close in conversation makes it easier to hear Him when I need counsel, or at least to be open to His answers, even if they come in unexpected ways.

    And I remind myself: I’ve made it through tough things before. If I could do it once, I can do it again. But I also know I don’t have to do it alone. While the positive thinking and mental work is mine to do, I lean on the support of family and friends for the rest. Whether it’s advice from their own journeys, sharing a laugh, or just helping out with daily life, my support team is elemental. Together with faith, they help me keep fear and doubt from overtaking trust in God.

    So at the end of the day, gratitude weaves through every changing season. I can still find something to be thankful for in every moment—even if I have to squint a little to see it.

    Some days feel like a gentle sunrise. Others, like a giant wave crashing over me. No matter what kind of day it is, I notice how faith helps me hold both the beauty and the messiness of life. And honestly? It’s that beauty and messiness that makes it all worth pushing forward for the next experience, leaning on Jesus for support and guidance.

    How are you finding gratitude in every season? What helps you stay grounded, even in life’s messiest moments?

  • Quiet Moments

    Quiet Moments

    Quiet moments can shape our whole day.

    Sometimes the only calm I find is in the soft light before the house wakes up. My sketchbook open and coffee cooling beside me, I breathe in the hush and ask God for just enough peace to meet what’s next.

    I’m working on rebuilding quiet into my day.

    Right now, it starts with adding in a morning routine of getting up ahead of my alarm. Any amount of time before my alarm is scheduled to go off is mine to enjoy, and gives me incentive to be up and about before it rings.

    Sometimes, the morning starts with taking inventory of myself, my thoughts, and where I’m at mentally. Those are the days I stay a bit longer in bed, but alert and processing through the tangle of feelings and worries.

    Other days, I’m up immediately to let our fur kiddos out (proud mama of 3 dogs, as well as a thriving almost-14-year-old) and set up my coffee to brew. Then I find one of my comfort spots for relaxing and meeting God before everything else happens.

    Sometimes, it’s working on a devotional or Bible study, other times I just meditate and allow myself to be open to his prodding. Sometimes it’s drawing while talking to God, or journaling my prayer talk with him. Other times, it’s working on a puzzle and soaking up time with our pups, accepting their warmth and companionship.

    God has a lot of different stories and ideas he works through with me. He definitely had fun when he set up my personality and various gifts/skills.

    It’s incredible to reflect on the way God has guided me through creative brainstorming to these amazing inspirations that simply take my own breath away; like, “really? I did that?” It’s equally fascinating when he does nothing but ease me back into moments of quiet reflection and serenity. He truly knows what I need in each moment, so long as I allow myself to be led by him.

    My favorite way to spend quiet time is with my journal — writing out my conversations with God is cathartic and grounding on so many levels.

    When I reach the level of flow I usually have with my artwork, it’s like everything fades to the background and it’s just the two of us. The ‘talk’ shifts back and forth and I truly feel heard and answered.

    I have the times I let my mind wander through all my different thoughts while drawing or writing, asking God to highlight the ideas and tasks that I need to capture and remember – these become my focus points during the day. But the rest is like a giant brain dump, releasing me to wipe the slate clean; to release whatever unnecessary things I’m carrying and put them to rest for good.

    These quiet moments of reflection help me ease into the unknown of the day and are my safety net — my opportunity to intentionally focus on where I want my mind to be as I start my day.

    What does your morning look like?

    If you want, try this: pause for a single deep breath, and whisper a prayer for steady hands and a gentle heart today.

    Share your favorite quiet ritual below, or just let me know if you need a prayer friend this week. ☕🕊️

  • Pause and Listen

    Pause and Listen

    When did you last pause and listen?

    Sometimes, in the swirl of creative projects and the everyday rush of parenting, it feels like the quiet moments slip away before we notice. I find myself reflecting on how easily I fill the silence—whether with art, prayer, or just the hum of laundry tumbling in the next room.

    I’m trying to seek intentional pause in my days: a cup of coffee slowly sipped, turning the TV off early in the evening, read a physical book and marking things direct in the pages that speak to me, and even cuddling our pups close and listening to their breathing when they relax against me to nap.

    These little moments feel like something I’ve been chasing lately – like fireflies dancing in the wind. And when I realize what I’ve found, I can’t help but pause — pause and drink in the beauty of finally capturing a brief moment of calm that sustains me when life gets busy.

    I have to laugh. This is nothing I would have wanted as ‘Past Me’. The quiet would have been too much like giving up on an adventure, or something I would sit in anxiously rather than peacefully.

    But now I crave this reflective time, enjoying observing and listening rather than being in the center of it all. This evolution is a change of priorities, realignment of where my focus is nowadays, and also self-care from being part of the chaotic secular world. A world that constantly pushes for more action than introspect, and claims we fall behind when we lack ‘hustle’.

    But it’s the hustle itself that these glimmers of time pushes away when God aligns our path with them. He truly knows what we need and my guess? It’s quiet time for me in this season of life. It’s reflecting and, while I’m still up for adventure, it’s more “smelling the roses” than it is being an adrenaline junkie.

    What does it look like for you to make space for God’s gentle voice amid your daily rhythms? I’d love to hear how you find (or miss) those pockets of stillness in your own season of life.

    Let’s share and encourage each other today. 🍂

  • “Give Yourself Some Grace…”

    “Hi, my name is Samantha… and I”m a perfectionist with OCD.” “Hi, Samantha.”

    Yep – I’m a perfectionist with OCD, but not in the way you would attribute to these behaviors. I’m not the person who has everything color coded, unless you’re talking about my spreadsheets (LOVE my spreadsheets!), or the person who has everything pristine-clean and stacked exactly so, or any of the other random ideas you probably have of either of these.

    Now, you may be thinking, ‘Samantha, you already shared this – we know.’ But this post is about grace, and it’s hard for me to talk about grace without highlighting these two attributes for myself. I think, when you consider your own life, you’ll see something there that you can replace either of these with, and find that it is an exact fit for you, too.

    Like I said, both of these behaviors manifest in different ways, for different situations. While I can have a bit of the quintessential qualities, most of mine are produced in silence. Just looking from the outside in, you won’t notice that these are two things I grapple with on a daily basis. Some days I come out the winner, and other days I just accept the loss – but never forget.

    I’m a planner, and when I invest a lot of thought and consideration into a project, it’s disappointing when it doesn’t come out the way I expected – but I pivot and trick my brain into thinking the new direction is what we really wanted the whole time.

    I’m detail-oriented and compartmentalize, but sometimes don’t know how to integrate this in with others. That’s why, working in a position where I’m solo for certain tasks is perfect. I keep my responsibilities plugged into labeled folder tiers for digital archiving and binders for specific categories that I have physical items for. When life gets crazy, I hit a ‘reset day’ and focus on just the organization and putting the system back together. (This one is definitely an OCD habit – because the satisfaction of ‘everything has a place, everything has a home’ being fulfilled gives me such a sense of peace.)

    I can hyper-focus and crank out a high-volume of quality productivity, but there are things that have to be in place for it to happen. I keep a notebook next to me for when random ideas (which happen all the time) suddenly hit, I have timers set to get up and talk to people, use the restroom, or eat food (otherwise I completely forget these things – people then ask if I’m ok or they think I’m hiding, I get sick, or end up having brain fog from inadequate brain fuel), and I have to wear noise-cancelling headphones and know that I’m not officially responsible for anything but the task I’m working on in the moment (meaning someone else is covering the other tasks) — otherwise, I’ll greet every sound of the door, react to every ping of email to knock it out immediately, or even get distracted by new ideas/brainstorming when someone talks about new projects – even when they didn’t ask for help. This is especially distressful when someone is really needing something specific from me that I should have been working on the whole time but got distracted.

    You can pivot, reorganize, ignore, and all the other things for a while, but when other essential well-being functions slip, like proper nutrition, self-care, adequate sleep, etc… those are the days that the resilience of overcoming these behaviors is lost, leading to a ‘loss’ for the day.

    And here’s the part where most people say the same thing: “Give yourself some grace…”

    Yep – title statement and the main point of my post today.

    I’m the first to admit, I beat myself up over the shortfalls I have, or blame myself when things are actually outside of my control. I’m not perfect – while I strive for the fulfillment of what my brain considers to be the ‘perfect’ completion of a task or goal, I’m not.

    And when things trigger depression, anxiety, or other stress responses, you’ll still see me start to shift things into right angles/symmetry. I guess I figure if my mind is in a tangle, the things around me shouldn’t be.

    And when I’m overwhelmed (which can happen with justifiably big situations, or even over the smallest little detail — it just depends on what pushes the lid off the bottle I keep pouring things into), I’ll still strive to reset my space and regroup in a way that people will think is maybe an inappropriate response to a situation, but is necessary to give my brain time to process, otherwise I shut down.

    “Give yourself some grace…”

    I think I bypass remembering to give myself grace because I don’t think I’ve earned it. And that’s a script I’m constantly having to rewrite for myself. God doesn’t have a finite amount of grace to share with us – grace cannot be exhausted.

    I am just as worthy of his grace and mercy as the people I find it easy to extend grace and mercy to in my life. Even with the exact same situation, I can offer these things to someone else without a blink – so why can’t I for myself? Is it because I think the situation isn’t worthy of it, or do I think I’m not worthy of it?

    I subscribe to Faithbox, and each month they include a devotional with a one-word theme. This month, they’re focusing on Grace. And somehow, the devotional each month has been exactly the keyword of what’s happening in my life at the time.

    “Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” – John 1:16

    The devotional for today features this scripture, and it gives me hope. Grace is given in place of grace already given. It’s not a one-time dip into the living water to be renewed. It’s something that can be done over and over again, offering grace for the big things and also the day-in/day-out moments. I can do my part to share grace and mercy with others, being a reflection of what God has done for me in my life.

    There is no quota to hit – no magic number I have to achieve. I do not have to earn what is freely and abundantly given.

    Are you struggling with giving yourself grace?

    While it’s not something that can be changed overnight, I know there are things I can add to my day that help me stay connected with God, and the grace he so freely offers.

    • Spend time in meditation and prayer
    • Read the Scriptures, focusing on the areas that highlight grace, mercy, and God’s abundant love
    • Listen to podcasts that highlight grace and spiritual disciplines to bring us closer to God
    • Connect with a small group or church family
    • Be part of corporate prayer, which helps us to see areas we may be overlooking in ourselves
    • Work through a Bible Study that focuses on grace and mercy
    • Call a friend to be a sounding board and to help see things from another perspective
    • Ask yourself: “What would I say to a friend who was struggling with the same situation?“

    These are a few of the things I turn to, but I know there are many more ways. And I can go more days than not giving myself adequate grace when I feel like I miss the mark. But the biggest reminder I like to stay focused on is that God wants me to bring my authentic self to him — every day, every way.

    He does not ask for the perfection — he knows we can’t obtain it. He doesn’t ask for me to know exactly what to say or pray — he already knows my heart. And he doesn’t expect me to earn his love and grace — he gives these freely to us. We just have to believe, obey the teachings, and trust him with our whole heart.

    If you’re looking for a church community to connect with, I know just the place that wants nothing more than for you to come as you are, with an open heart. 🧡

    You can connect with Aldersgate Abilene at http://www.aldersgateabilene.org or reach out to the church office for more info (office@aldersgateabilene.org)

    A friend I work with recently said that church is where the broken come to heal… and it really resonated with me. I go to be filled, to find healing, and to give back to others what I’ve found at Aldersgate.

    Would you like to see how Aldersgate can do this for you? 🫶

  • Daily Doodles as Spiritual Practice

    Daily Doodles as Spiritual Practice

    There’s something magical about daily doodles. They’re not about creating a masterpiece, but about showing up, being present, and letting creativity flow without judgment.

    Original hand drawn doodle – Sept. 17, 2005

    These aren’t just sketches. They’re snapshots of moments, prayers without words, reflections of inner landscapes that can’t always be explained but can be drawn.

    Tune My Heart to Sing Thy Grace

    Original hand drawn doodle – Sept. 21, 2005

    The first piece feels like a visual prayer. Each intricate pattern – the swirling lines, the geometric shapes, the carefully placed words – speaks to the complexity of faith. “Tune my heart to sing thy grace” isn’t just a phrase, it’s an invitation. An acknowledgment that sometimes our hearts need retuning, need to be reminded to see beauty, to find grace in the midst of complexity.

    The black and white zentangle style mirrors spiritual life so perfectly. Not always clear-cut, not always straightforward, but rich with texture and depth.

    Landscape of the Soul

    Original hand drawn doodle – Sept. 19, 2005

    The mountain landscape feels like an inner terrain. Those swirling skies remind me of emotional landscapes – sometimes turbulent, sometimes peaceful. The different textures of each mountain – dotted, lined, wave-like – suggest the varied terrains of our inner worlds.

    It’s fascinating how a simple black and white drawing can communicate so much movement, so much feeling. The waves in the sky, the different patterns of each mountain peak – it’s like a topographical map of emotional experience.

    Give Me All the Books

    Original hand drawn doodle – Sept. 18, 2005

    And then there’s the bookshelf. Oh, the bookshelf! As someone who loves words, who sees books as portals to other worlds, this doodle speaks my language. Each book is unique – different patterns, different textures. Just like people, just like experiences.

    The little heart, the playful “Give me all the books…” – it’s a declaration of love. Not just for books, but for stories, for learning, for the endless possibilities contained in pages.

    The Practice of Showing Up

    What I love most about these daily doodles is the practice itself. It’s not about creating something perfect. It’s about showing up. About putting pen to paper. About allowing creativity to flow, whether it results in something “frame-worthy” or not.

    In a world that often demands perfection, daily doodles are an act of rebellion. They say: I am here. I am creating. I am processing. I am alive.

    Spiritual Practice in Black and White

    For me, these aren’t just drawings. They’re a form of prayer. A form of meditation. A way of processing the world, of paying attention, of being present.

    Each line, each pattern is a moment of mindfulness. A breath. A prayer. A reflection.

    What does your daily creative practice look like? How do you show up for yourself, even when (especially when) the world feels chaotic?

  • Monday Moments: Big Changes and Small Blessings

    Monday Moments: Big Changes and Small Blessings

    What a day to capture for a “day in the life” post! Some Mondays are quiet and predictable – this was not one of those Mondays.

    The biggest news: Aspen just finished her training and started her insulin pump today! I’m practically bouncing with excitement for her. This is such a huge step in managing her Type 1 diabetes, and watching her take charge of this new technology has me feeling all the proud mama feelings. It’s going to be an adjustment period as we both get used to the new routine, but I have such a good feeling about this change.

    Speaking of changes and adjustments – I’ve got a steroid injection scheduled for Wednesday morning to help with these persistent headaches and pain issues.

    With headaches, most activity has downshifted to simple projects and decompressing to keep tension away. This was a fun drawing to get lost in for a while. 💙

    Fingers crossed it provides some relief. It’s one of those medical procedures that feels small but could make a big difference in daily life. Here’s hoping!

    There’s also some excitement brewing that I can’t share just yet (shh – no telling!), but let’s just say the end of this week might bring some good news. Sometimes you need those little mysteries to look forward to, you know?

    The September market got cancelled due to a family emergency for the sponsor, which honestly was probably a blessing in disguise on how scheduled fell given everything else happening. They’ll be back in October, but I’m planning to wait until November to jump back in. Sometimes the universe has its own timing.

    And then there was the wasp situation. Y’all. I discovered a hidden nest out front with 20+ wasps just hanging out like they owned the place. I am beyond grateful for God’s protection – that could have been a seriously nasty accident waiting to happen. But it’s definitely put my front yard garden projects on hold until they relocate somewhere else. *Sigh.* I finally had the energy and motivation to tackle some outdoor projects, and then nature said “not so fast.” 😜 Must be a sign to focus on other things right now.

    Taking residence in our thick trumpet vine hedge, I didn’t see them while fussing with overgrowth. Came back later and realized just how lucky I had been. 😳

    When life hits you with this much at once – new medical equipment, upcoming procedures, mystery excitement, cancelled plans, and surprise wasp neighbors – it’s easy to feel frazzled. But I’m learning that it’s exactly in these moments when taking time for the small blessings makes all the difference. 

    Aspen mastering her pump training. Protection from what could have been a painful wasp encounter. A quiet morning with coffee before the day got crazy. The anticipation of good things coming. Even the market cancellation giving us space to breathe.

    It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Some days you’re dancing in the kitchen to random songs, other days you’re dodging wasps and celebrating medical milestones. Both are part of the beautiful, messy, unpredictable rhythm of real life.

    Wednesday’s procedure, then rest and recovery. Sometimes that’s exactly what the week calls for.

    *How do you find those small blessings when life gets overwhelming? I’d love to hear your strategies for staying grounded in the chaos.*

  • When Your Creative Practice Feels Too Hard: Finding Flow in Simple Seasons

    When Your Creative Practice Feels Too Hard: Finding Flow in Simple Seasons

    I haven’t had a true painting session in about two months. 🫣

    There, I said it. The woman who has her own painted art all over her home and office from over the last 9 years, doodles zentangles and hand lettered designs, plus pops color and creativity in nearly everything, hasn’t touched paint in two months. And you know what? It’s not the first time, it won’t be the last, and that’s perfectly okay. 🧡

    Here’s what I’ve learned about creative overload – and really, any kind of mental overload that makes the things we usually love feel suddenly impossible.

    When Complex Becomes Overwhelming

    My painting practice isn’t just about making pretty things. It’s where I connect with God, process life’s complexities, and find that flow state where my brain can run on autopilot and sort through everything swirling around in there. It’s where I retreat to rejuvenate my mind, heart, and soul.

    But lately, even thinking about setting up paints feels overwhelming and frankly, exhausting. The decisions – which colors, what surface, what technique – that used to energize me now feel like too much. My brain is already working overtime processing life transitions, health challenges, family coordination, and all the mental load that comes with daily responsibilities.

    “Cross Out the Noise”; one of my original paint pours that perfectly matches the overload when ideas, to-do lists, and responsibilities crash into each other – all shouting for equal attention.

    Now, people might point to my full-time church work as the culprit for this overload. And yes, ministry leadership adds its own complexity. But here’s the thing – my church work actually fulfills needs for spirituality, connection with friends, and being productive. It’s not the villain in this story.

    I learned what true work overwhelm felt like with previous employers during my college days, when there was no work-life balance and my job drained rather than filled me. This is different. This is simply a season where I’m carrying more mental load than usual, and it can happen regardless of whether you love your work or not.

    The Background Noise Problem

    You know that feeling when your brain won’t shut off? When you’re at work but thinking about home ideas, and at home but processing work projects? That constant background mental noise that never quite settles?

    That’s cognitive overload, and it happens in seasons of life when we’re carrying more than our usual mental load. It’s not necessarily about having a “bad” job or too much work – it’s about the cumulative effect of managing multiple life areas simultaneously.

    Without my usual painting sessions – my brain’s primary processing time – all that mental noise has nowhere to go. It just keeps cycling in the background, making it hard to be fully present anywhere.

    Simple Saves the Day

    So I’ve been doodling. Zentangles. Simple black ink on white paper. Repetitive patterns that don’t require color decisions or complex compositions.

    And guess what? It’s working.

    Swirls and waves with minimal color adorn this brown cardstock bookmark – free flowing calm in doodle form 💙

    Those meditative, repetitive patterns are giving my brain the flow state it’s been craving without the cognitive load that painting requires right now. The wave patterns I love creating, the simple geometric designs, the mindful repetition – it’s all there, just in a more accessible form.

    Permission to Adapt

    This isn’t just about art. It’s about recognizing when our usual practices – the ones that normally fill us up – become too much for our current season.

    Maybe your morning devotional routine feels too long, so you switch to one verse and a breath prayer.

    Maybe your exercise regimen feels overwhelming, so you take walks instead of structured workouts.

    Maybe your elaborate meal planning feels impossible, so you embrace simple, nourishing foods that don’t require complex decisions.

    It’s taking the things that usually bring you joy and fulfillment into a narrower focus, eliminating the overwhelm from decision fatigue but embracing the core of what gives you back some spark.

    The Wisdom of Seasons

    There’s wisdom in adapting rather than abandoning. Instead of giving up creativity entirely because painting feels too hard, I’m meeting my creative needs where they are right now. The spiritual connection, the meditative processing, the satisfaction in completing a design – it’s all still there, just in simpler form.

    This season won’t last forever. My brain will settle, the overload will ease, and I’ll return to painting when it feels nourishing instead of overwhelming. But for now, I’m honoring where I am instead of forcing where I think I should be.

    What Simple is Calling You?

    If you’re in a season where your usual practices feel too hard, what simple version might serve you right now?

    What would it look like to adapt instead of abandon?

    What flow state is available to you in this season, even if it’s not the one you’re used to?

    Sometimes the most creative thing we can do is choose the path that actually serves us, rather than forcing the path that drains us.

    Your brain – and your soul – will thank you for the grace.

    What simple practice is calling to you in this season? I’d love to hear how you’re adapting your routines to meet yourself where you are.